10. I run the Community for Jigsaw, which means I spend all day talking to a potential pool of over 450,000 salespeople, marketers and recruiters. That’s a lot of material (i.e .nutjobs to make fun of… errr… I mean business professionals to admire).
9. Because everyone feels like they should subscribe to a blog, but most of them are about “a day in the life of some chick’s cat” or blatant company propaganda. I have no use for live animals or corporate wonks.
8. I carried a bag for 8 different companies over the last 16 years- so even if I don’t know what I’m talking about, I think I do. You can either learn something or feel like you are smart- maybe both if you’re lucky!
7. You need to point that RSS thingy somewhere.
6. I co-founded the company, I’m fully vested, and no one can tell me what I can’t say. Watch me call out Jigsaw, the data industry, the competition, bloggers, our board, my co-founder, and anyone else that I can have fun with. If this blog abruptly gets cancelled, look for pictures on Vallyschwag (or maybe in the Foster City Gazette) of me being led away from Jigsaw in leg chains.
5. Life’s too short to be reading all the other tech/business gossip, you can only handle so much sports news, and reading American Idol blogs has to lower your IQ (it certainly has mine).
4. Checking stocks is so 1999.
3. You need a break from corporate bingo buh-bab-bluh-blah. 10 hours a day of conversations about synergies, value add, net new anything, recurring revenue, taking it offline, upside, best practices, and execution( my personal favorite- doesn’t that just mean “doing?”) will definitely make you pick up the sink and use it to crash through the wall of that Cuckoo’s Nest you call work.
2. Surfing porn is too risky with all this internal security monitoring software.
1. Because even if you could think of it at the moment, you can’t say this stuff back to your customer, boss, and co-workers. Come vent with Garth.